Understanding My Realization

I wish I had something interesting to post about but I feel like I am finally settling down and nothing is happening in my life.  Yet, I know that is somewhat completely untrue.  There are things happening everyday, all the time.  Even as I sit here in my apartment living room, I can hear the mis-happenings of the boys school next door - see there are things happening, even if we don't see them.

So, what am I doing in Jordan? So far it feels like I am only complaining about missing home and the crazy stressed out life of being a KG2 and Grade 1 teacher to the "privileged" children of Jordan.  What happened to my service? Well, I don't know how to be of service here. My Arabic knowledge is sub-par and continues to get worse - why haven't I become active getting a tutor?  (Goal this week: post want ads for an 3amiya tutor with regular meetings and forced conversation.) I am going to start Ruhi Book 3 soon, which will make me feel like I am doing something - hopefully I can put together an English children's class. Yes! Combining spiritual education with English language education is right up my alley.

In the end, I am beginning to look at service differently here in Amman. Of course there is a need to build study circles, Jr. Youth groups, children's classes and the like, but there is also a need to just be a good example - to meet your neighbors, socialize with them, deepen the conversations you have with them and be well... different.  This culture is beautiful but it is sometimes stained with materialism, flattery, and dishonesty.  I want to be a person that is teaching kids and engaging them in their education within a system that shovels information in their head like it's an overstuffed suitcase makes this quite challenging.  It took takes a toll on one's spirit and I learned that reflecting that light more clearly everyday can be service.  I want to work on that type of service also, it's just as important.  It's just as needed.