I don't even know what to title this. I don't even know if I have anything good to write about it... but here I am putting my fingers to the keys to produce something. Anything that will be of some worth, some interest, some... thing.
I sit here at my desk with my stomach overstuffed with rice, laban soup, and meat - which I will most likely regret later as I think the meat here makes me sick. It's warming though, and with a cool, semi-cloudy day like today, and it's nice paired with mint tea. I think about being enlightening, sharing something that might inspire someone to do something good. But now I am lost without anything to write about it and this post becomes more and more less intriguing.
Well, last night I am some sort of overwhelming emotional confusion... if anyone is interested in that? The "What I am I doing here? And why do I continue to screw up?" questions arose yet again and I just got angry and frustrated about it. I just want to punch someone in the face. I would have if someone did something particularly awful in my range of sight. Thank goodness this did not occur and I do not have to hit anyone in the face. I think that prayer would help this problem of confusion, just to ask for God's conformations to be evident to me, so that I may see my path more clearly. Clarity. I want clarity.
WOW. I feel like I wrote this Sara! It's so strange that lives feel so parallel. You're also hilarious, making light of the your situation, and somehow I get the feeling you've got something very steady underneath the rough-feeling waves! (That's what I tell myself anyway!)
ReplyDeleteSo, if it's any consolation, I'm going through the same, though it has got a BIT better. Does it not make you feel better knowing that you're not alone!? ;-)
Thank you Alisa! I'm so blessed to have met you at the National Center. And yes it does help so much to know another is going through a similar situation... it's support to know I'm not completely insane. Prayers and love to you my friend.
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