I promised a while back that I would read a posts about romantic relationships in Jordan. So, here's my stab at it:
First, I don't know what the h-e-double hockey sticks I am doing with even trying to figure out romantic relationships right now in my life. But as my life rolls on, I have found certain intriguing individuals in my life that grab my attention and hold unto it for some time before I decide that it's not what I want in life. I have come to realize, more than once, that the Levant changes these conditions into something I am not fully aware of or understand.
What is dating anyway? Is it good? Is it bad? I don't really have the answer for those questions and I'm not about to pour out my opinions about it here. That will a) possibly get me into some sort of uproar and b) present myself as if I actually know anything about it. In fact, although I have had my fair share of relationships, I don't know anything. I am constantly learning, but also constantly building up walls. I think that relationships should be kept to a minimal in general. If you find one you love and can make a life with - just do it. Make a real commitment and be true and honest, justice and equal.
I don't need games of liking me, texting me, and then being secret about it when you are actually talking with 3 other girls. Secrets allow for a lot of dishonesty - its just not necessary. But lack of understanding the person one is making a life-long decision of commitment with is not a good thing either. There must be a happy balance between the two, but I don't think most Jordanians have found it yet. Here I am, finding myself in the mess of it all - what do I do next? I think the way I have approached this entire idea has been wrong from day 1 and I want to change that.
It's time to truly understand what it makes to be in a posture of learning for all things. Then to actually LEARN and DO. It's easier when you have someone to hold your hand and help guide your heart, when you have that special spiritual partner. That's exactly what relationships anywhere should be.
"special spiritual partner"
ReplyDeleteI love that notion and hate it at the same time. Here's why:
I think that if you have this special spiritual partner then you're made! How could the world be any better? It's perfect.
I also hate it because it's too hard to find. There are about 6.5 billion of us on this blue planet. What are the chances of finding that special someone? The odds are against you. In fact, it seems highly unlikely that it will happen. But people need that idea to keep going, hence, creating the illusion of the "special spiritual partner," which ends sadly.
My question is: HOW DO YOU KNOW?
In this part of the world, unfortunately, spirituality does not always play a role in choosing your life partner. I am sorry to say that it has become more and more of a material issue, as is the case in many other parts of the world. It's all about the car you drive, the phone you carry, and the size of the bill you pay. It's not always the case of course, but it does happen and happens more and more.
My other question is: If you do the math and the odds are against you, coupled with the fact that we are living in a material world (not quoting Madonna hehe), is there any room for spirituality?
You bring up so many good questions!
ReplyDeleteFirst, you're right the numbers are against us. But I also believe we are put into the situations, living in the certain places, and doing the things we do because of divine confirmation. Maybe we don't have control over everything? We might not have a "soul mate" but we're put into a vast ocean of potentials everyday. No one is perfect, but there are people with like minds everywhere.
How do you know? Through prayer, consultation and maybe a little dusting of butterflies in your stomach - you know.
Materiality is a big issue! It's everywhere and is growing everyday. So, why not do a small hurt to control it? We all can have elevated conversations, why not start one? It can have dramatic effects and start putting the focus on other things rather than cars, clothes, and money. It's true we can not live without money, it is a means to an end, but we should also be able to enjoy the things we have in our life.
My conclusion: there is plenty of room for spirituality in life, but you must find it.
@Zayed "unfortunately, spirituality does not always play a role in choosing your life partner." Well it's true and not at the same time, depends on who are you hanging out with, the type of people you know, the type of people you keep seeking to know!
ReplyDeleteBut let's take another case, players! Whether it's the guy or the girl, both can play the player in a relation, and fool the other into a relation built into likeness at both ends, then when he/she is satisfied -> ditch and look for another game to play with someone else. This is totally not Materialistic, it's more of a mentality issue, illness, or whatever.
If you are NOT seeking a long time commitment, you can date someone you like, but if you know (and you have to be able to differentiate) that the other person is in for the big deal (the long term commitment, the ring, and the white dress/or the black suit next you wearing the white dress in case you are girl), then this is a risky situation for you, and you could end up breaking hearts and eventually becoming a player for change since nothing is working out your way. (This is just one of the causes which MIGHT make someone become a player, other than betrayal, and screwed up previous relationships).
"special spiritual partner", I don't know what to say, I'm a practical person, and I'll speak for myself. I cut through the chase, and make her face the question, of "do you think there will be something between us more than friendship?" I say it someway or another, and make her understand it, and unfortunately a lot won't understand it right, or get confused! Is it my problem that I understood the hints in a wrong way? HOLD ON, what hints? Oh, ok it is the things that go between 2 people liking each other, which one of them give on a likeness basis, although it seems a bit more than that. Why does it seem a bit more than usual? Because: A) it is either you are old fashioned and living in a romantic movie mentality. B) the other end is evolving in expressing themselves more and more because of feeling comfortable but not wanting a relationship. This is pretty Jordanian I guess, and I cannot Generalize it.
But does this mean I should go the modern way and stop being old fashioned? Well, it depends, but I know some people who are doing that and they are dating a new girl each month or two, the problem is that the girls either never learn from previous mistakes, or are enjoying the swinging relationships.
My take...
"exploring Jordanians" makes me feel like we are aliens :)
ReplyDeleteYou are aliens! :)
ReplyDeleteIt feels nice to be an alien :)
ReplyDeleteand i have my own reservations on your species too :)
Indeed share!
ReplyDeleteActuallally sharing them needs along time...
ReplyDeletei promise you that i will share my reservations when i have some time.
regards.
or if you have a facebook account
ReplyDelete