Why did I ever effin' leave my country? Why did I put myself in this damn position? Why do I continue to ask questions when really I have no answers to even begin to help myself? I really feel like giving up today. I'm not asking for your pity or your sympathy, I'm just pouring out all this garbage inside me that I simply can no longer deal with. Broken friendships aren't easy to deal with, but sometimes that's just the way it's got to be. There are just too many things to name that aren't good right now. I'm looking for a job, but the only lead I got takes me out of my city. Relocation just seems like a lot right now, although I know I got the guts to do it.
This post is like word vomit all over a digital page. Gross, I feel like I could just puke anyway. Music usually helps and it's doing nothing for me right now. I can't do this heart on my sleeve thing much longer, I'm just gonna end up turning into this bitter-hearted woman with permanent scar tissue around that thing which remotely resembles a soul. I really don't need to push all of the brightness away and that mirror in my spiritual being could use some polishing. Probably better idea to just start praying rather than blogging.
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